DAYS OF OUR LIVES

 

 

"Like Sand Through the Hour Glass, So Are The Days of Our Lives".....the beginning lines of the voiceover for this long-running soap opera was the first thing I thought of when I sat down to write today. When I was growing up my mother, my grandmothers, my aunts, the neighbors....all of the women that surrounded me watched their "stories" every afternoon and talked about the characters as if they were members of our family. As a rite of passage, I became caught up in the romance-tragedy of Luke and Laura on General Hospital in 1978 and my girlfriends would "watch" it with me over the phone every day after school. Ironically enough, the same women who now complain that their children are too smitten with technology to actually live their lives, are the same ones who were raised by the Partridge Family, the Brady Bunch and the citizens of Port Charles.

 

Because I am not a particularly religious person I don't feel comfortable using the word "pray". For me it conjures up memories of being on my knees for what seemed like hours while my Baptist Papaw talked and talked and talked while I was waiting to eat, or escape or go to bed. Because I am a deeply spiritual person I prefer to think of the guiding forces in my life as existing somewhere out in the universe, non-judgmental, all-loving and omni-present. And whether you call it praying or some other genteel sounding verb, I am in continuous communication with these forces inside my head. Lately I have been asking the universe to help me see the extraordinary in my day-to-day life, because if you have ever read any of my musings, you will remember that, for me, gratitude is only defense I have against ugliness and unfairness. Because I have been so blessed to have homes, friends and families scattered across two states, I sometimes feel like I don't really live  anywhere, but instead exist in a constant state of preparing for the next coming together or parting.

 

If the universe is listening, I AM NOT COMPLAINING.....I AM GRATEFUL....please note that I started this thought with the words "so blessed". It is just that sometimes I am so busy preparing for what comes next that I don't feel like I am breathing in this moment, in all its' remarkable glory. So I have been asking the all-powerful to send me opportunities to stop, to notice, to embrace the moments that string together my days, so that I can appreciate the passage of my weeks and months and years. And as often happens when you pray or converse with the universe, the opportunities have come.

 

Yesterday, during the course of  forty minutes, our oldest child had eleven saves in goal, to only one miss. Because sometimes in life you have to commit to going left a fraction of a second before the shooter veers right and the other team scores. But it only happened to him once yesterday and as a result, his team is tied for first place in their league. As I sat in the warm sun breathing in the sounds of the birds and the hum of the energy at the field, I was surrounded by the moms and dads and step-moms and granddads and girlfriends and aunts and uncles and babysitters and neighbors of our community. There was talk of baseball games the night before and prom plans two weeks from now and even though I was there to represent the Highlighter yellow team, I also cheered for the goalie of the pink team because he is one of our "chosen children." In the grand scheme of life I don't think the hour we spent at the field yesterday morning made any headlines and I didn't see the highlights on ESPN. But the laughter and the comraderie and the victory and the defeat, the news shared and the plans made were noticed and embraced....as an extraordinary hour in a day of my life.

 

For the remainder of the day, all of last night and beginning again early this morning, my house has been filled with four boys.....laughing, farting, texting, talking, shooting hoops, eating everything that isn't nailed down and running back and forth to the tire swing in the woods. There have been dramas and disputes....more dialogue about girls than I realized was happening....and a lot of laughter about things I will have to "google" to even begin to understand. I have allowed my children to drink more caffeine, have more freedom, stay up later and ignore more chores that I normally would, because even at 49 years of age, I am still trying to be COOL! I still dream of being the place the kids want to come back to at 13 and at 23 and at 43....which means I cook and clean and listen and try to be like invisible wallpaper so that I will have any insight into who our children are and who they are becoming, beyond those sides of themselves that they show me.

 

I can't say I am completely comfortable with all that I am discovering. And in the grand scheme of life I know it is likely that I will remember these experiences long after the kids and their friends have forgotten them. But I also hope that someday when our sons are working in the yard or frying the bacon, trying not to react too strongly to the insights they will be gaining into their children's lives, they will smile....and breathe.....and embrace the days of their lives.....Because that would be the most satisfying reward imaginable.

Stop.....Breathe.....Listen....Embrace.....There is magic all around us, all the time. The Ordinary is really Most Extra-Ordinary.



P.S.  The boys have just come in to comb their hair and spray on some Axe deodorant.....and they say they are just going out to play basketball....hmmmm, this day may have just gotten more interesting....I think I have some things to do outside!