Monday Rants and Ramblings

Why is it that my 10 year old can get up 10 minutes BEFORE he needs to and complete his morning routine in 7 seven minutes when he wants to hang out with his friends but it takes 45 minutes for him to drag himself out of bed and put on a pair of pants on the days I have 8:00 AM meetings with the Judges?

What is the proper response when you say "Good Morning" to your 8 year old and he greets you with a guttural, "AAAAAGH!"? I thought he was the happy go-lucky one? Does this mean that all three of us neurotic, grumpy people now? Am I being punished for letting him stay up to be bored-to-death by the Black Eye Peas at halftime? (Today he said he was the only one in his class who knew Slash...that's my boy!)

Did I just pass a goat on the side of the road? ( Probably so, I am flying through Stokes County on my way to scenic Dobson, NC...) And was he really wearing a red dog collar with a tag on it?

Is there really a man standing outside 1987 Trans Am at the Surry County Courthouse smoking a cigarette while he talks to a frail woman wearing an oxygen mask? Are we all going to be blown to Hell when he throws the smoldering butt on the ground near her tank? "AAAAGH!"

Does the man wearing the red wife beater and the American flag headband inside the Courthouse really believe he was Willie Nelson? And was it 31 degrees when he came in? Because I was just outside and it felt like 31 degrees to me. Perhaps he should sell some of his excess body hair and buy a jacket?

Why does it cost me $56.08 at Food Lion when the only thing on my list was Goldfish, Cheezits and yogurt to use for school lunches this week?

Is it possible to do a math worksheet, write spelling words three times each, study the 7's multiplication table, correct a math test, study for a vocabulary test, read for 15 minutes, practice recorder, eat a snack, take a shower and eat dinner in a 3 hour time span? On a related note, why does Mom fall asleep during "snuggle time" watching Dukes of Hazzard re-runs on CMT?

Does it ruin a day of fasting if you eat 5 oreos and two handfuls of Chex Mix? Should a 46 year old woman be this consumed by her weight when she can't get to work on time and she falls asleep at 8:30 PM at night?

It has been an interesting day...

Thank Goodness it is only 68 hours until I am sipping Boat Drinks at Bahama Breeze on Tampa Bay and partying with some pirates,  61 days until Jimmy and I are reunited in Margaritaville and 165 days until I am at HOME on my barstool at Sloppy Joe's..... even on an interesting day, it's a damn good life!